How a broken heart can change you?


No physical endurance prepares you for the pain of a broken heart. There is nothing that compares to the trauma, nothing soothes you either. But eventually, you grow out of it, and when you do, you realise how much you have learnt and grown in the process. The same pain that felt like it would kill you has been survived, and you learn so much from it.

1. You are back to reality

Being in love is a lot like being on another planet: there is a lot that happens around you but you don’t notice it. When things fall apart you get back to reality; you realise how things which attracted you to your previous partner were not sustainable. You now know that an innocent face or a heavy voice doesn’t mean you are with the right person. Maybe you should have listened to your friends and family all along.

2. You know that trust must be earned

There are hundreds of similes that tell you that once your trust is betrayed you do not trust again easily. Past experiences make you more vary, and when your heart is broken you know you cannot depend on another person. You are not naive anymore and you know that those who are to be trusted in life will prove it with their actions and not their words.

3. You realise your own shortcomings

Maturity lies in realising how you could be wrong, not once or twice but a few times. When your heart-break is fresh, it might be hard to objectively conclude what your mistakes were. However, when the storm passes you are capable of noticing where you went wrongin ways big and small.

4. You will be more aware of warning signs in the future

When you are ready to go out again and you meet someone new, you will be much more careful. You will know the little things that could be warning signs of your relationship going bad. You will know when your partner might be dishonest or stealthy with you, and you will know how to hold your ground better instead of having a breakdown.

5. You will build up emotional muscle

Just like going to the gym makes your body stronger, surviving this heartbreak will make you much stronger emotionally. Initially it will seem you cannot live through the pain, and it will take a long time before you recover. But the fact that you do recover shows how strong you have become through this laborious process. You are capable of surviving the worst, and then getting your life in order all over again.

6. You will remember to only rely on yourself

The biggest lesson to be learnt from a break up is that the only person you can count on at all times is yourself. This is not to say you will not trust people, but you will understand that people are imperfect and make mistakes without wanting to. This doesn’t mean you have to stay distant, it only means you have to rely on yourselves alone.

7. You will prioritise yourself

You have to make a ton of sacrifices to make any relationship work. When your heart is broken, it seems that the world is ending because you changed parts of yourself to fit the needs of a relationship that is no longer there. This is when you learn to make decisions for yourself again. You learn to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and fight against all life throws at you. To survive a heartbreak is the strongest thing any person can do. Even if it seems like the end of the world in the beginning, a heart break leaves you a much stronger and more mature person in the end.

Ritika Tiwari
Freelance Writer/ Blogger/ Content Strategist


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