“Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.” -Desmond Tutu
Although winning an argument is not an easy task and it consumes one’s tremendous amount of energy and time. However, an argument can certainly be taken into our favour when addressed using specific strategies. As a result of this, relationships can be saved as well.
First of all, it is as essential to have evidence in favour of our argument as it is to have contrary evidence against your partner’s argument. Along with addressing these pieces of evidence, we need to make sure that we have outlined all the pros for our argument and cons for their argument. This will help our partner weigh the negative and positive outcomes of each argument and encourage them in the direction that has the most benefits and least risks, which we aim to be our argument side. It is crucial to make sure that when we use this strategy, we have to be very calm and patient with our partner, rather than loud and hottempered. The more positive and understanding the environment surrounding the couple, the more likely your opposite partner will be able to view things from your perspective and will likely agree with your opinion.
Second, while arguing, it is essential to respect your partner by giving them time to process the thoughts that you have just presented to them. For example, if you are rushing and constantly talking one after another, they will certainly feel overweight and targeted. This will make the entire situation worse.
Thirdly, it is essential to converse with your partner in a manner and attitude that you have always been doing in a daily routine. Otherwise, if you suddenly start calling out their names due to anger, and you have previously never done that, it might make them feel as if they were talking to a stranger and will be less likely to comply with your thoughts. In the future, if you realize you are mistaken in the middle of an argument, acknowledge your mistake without wasting time.
In future arguments or conversations, your companion will take you more seriously. It is also a respectable thing to do, and they will appreciate your humble gesture. They will respect you and may even support your side if you persuade them.
Instead of allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment and compel you to create the worst scene, please take a moment to assess whether it is the right time and place to have a volcano meltdown. Tuning to the present moment by focusing on your senses can be a great strategy. The senses can contribute to a person’s sense of being rooted. When you are not standing, even concentrating on your toes might help you centre yourself. However, the best and most universally accepted strategy would be to wait until you are both alone before having the conversation.
Overall, by keeping these strategies in mind, one can undoubtedly win an argument without losing the relationship.
Surbhi Bassi
