Relationships are built on trust but when you are dishonest with your partner, you crack the bond slightly. You feel guilty and try your best to avoid it but over time, lying becomes a habit and it doesn’t bother you anymore. It doesn’t limit to lying about something that you did but also emotional honesty, which is allowing your partner to be the way they are.
HIDING FROM YOUR PARTNER
In a romantic relationship, honesty is equivalent to intimacy and trust. When you are completely honest with your partner, you get close with each other and that’s when your bond grows. Consider lying as relationship termites, which gradually degrades your relationship until it finally breaks apart. This brings us to emotional honesty, which is one of the pillars of a strong relationship. Only when you are connected with your inner self, you will be able to connect with your partner and succeed in life.
You would have heard several times that a damaged relationship can’t be fixed. Even though the statement is true, you can always go back to how things were. It will take some efforts and but it starts with being honest about your mistakes. Some things that you might want to hide your partner include your past, your dreams and aspirations, financial status, and food intake. A relationship evolves gradually and to make your bond stronger, you have to open up about all these things. Hiding or lying is only going to make the relationship fall apart.
WHY DOES A PERSON LIE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Every time you lie to your partner or yourself, there’s a motive behind it. The primary reason people lie is to protect something or someone from your partner. It usually happens in the beginning of your relationship and it can be your ego or sense of security trying to protect the truth.
If those aren’t the reasons you are lying, other reasons include avoiding conflict and fear of shame. Some people lie to claim power in a relationship, while others lie to control what others think of themselves.
When you lie to your partner, there’s something you are running away from — lack of acceptance. You are avoiding the truth and confronting it is the only way to mend your relationship. When you are being dishonest, you are simply controlling the experience someone else has of you. You create a fake world for your partner, which sucks out the intimate experience from your relationship. Gradually, the trust with fade away because your partner will eventually find out about the truth. It will also stop you from being completely invested in your relationship and enjoying every second of it.
BEING OPEN FROM THE BEGINNING
Your past experiences might cause you to build a protective wall around you but when you enter a relationship, you can peel it one brick at a time. Be open to your partner and tell them that some experiences from the past have changed you but with their help, you will try becoming your original self.
Take the things at a pace you are comfortable with and discuss every little thing with your partner. Only when the two of you are on the page, you will stop lying or hiding things from each other. Communicate your smallest to your biggest insecurities with your partner and reciprocate in the same way.
It takes a lot of efforts to build a trusting relationship, so make sure you take every step possible towards that.