Self love has been talked about on the internet far more than ever recently, as more and more people are coming to realize that the only healthy way to live is via allowing yourself the space to be flawed and then work through these flaws.
Self love is not to be mistaken for being self obsessed or being self important. Self love is acceptance of one’s inabilities as well as inhibitions, and then remembering that working on these is never easy. Self love requires patience and practice.
Self love is important for anyone’s self esteem, and attempting to reach its zenith is the ultimate goal for a happy and fulfilled life. In order to function healthily in several aspects of your life and maintain interpersonal relationships, loving yourself is a mandatory.
Loving yourself can help improve your relationships significantly; this is how:
1. People treat you the way you treat yourself
In our attempt to be available, we end up being clingy as we seek validation from others. It is important to validate ourselves and feel important, and therefore worthy of attention. When we feel that certain sense of confidence about ourselves and our personality, others follow and enable us to feel the same. After all, human beings do learn by imitation!
2. No one can love you adequately until you do the same
You set your own standards for how you should be treated by the way you treat yourself. If you keep going out of your way to help the people in your life without prioritizing yourself, they will start doing the same. Instead of being a cooperation that enables you to shine, such a relationship will continually drain you of all energy and leave you exhausted and never feeling enough. For your relationships to treat you the right way and make you feel important, it is a must that you prioritize yourself.
3. Allow yourself some flaws and failings so you can accept theirs
Being unable to accept our own flaws suggests often point to insecurities; and when we cannot stomach our own shortcomings, there is no way to work on them and improve ourselves. When we do not give ourselves this room to grow, we are likely to fail to provide it to those in our life as well. Loving ourselves means understanding that we are imperfect, and allow us to accept those we love as imperfect too.
4. Self reliance for your own happiness is the only solution
Relying on other people for our happiness is a recipe for disaster; no one can live your life and consistently know how you are feeling or what you are going through. Processing our emotions by ourselves, seeking help when we need, practicing self reliance enables us to take responsibility for our happiness. Moreover, it helps us cheer up those we love when they are not feeling up to it, because love is more about giving than it is about receiving.
5. Loving yourself makes you a better lover
When we practice kindness, patience, reliability, forgiveness, and acceptance towards ourselves, we become capable of providing others with the same. By holding together ourselves when we are not feeling okay, we can train ourselves to do the same for others by being sensitive towards their feelings, actions and reactions.
Loving yourself is the answer
If you seek love, then begin with providing yourself with that love. Being open and available to such feelings not only makes us better at our relationships, but also makes us better human beings.