It can be utterly painful to see a relationship that was once fruitful and blooming become unhealthy and toxic.
There comes a point when a marriage seems irredeemable and to fix it or to abandon it depends entirely upon those involved. However, with conviction and hard work, you can make any relationship work.
Here are some steps to take when your marriage hits the rocks to ensure you survive the turbulence and come out as a stronger couple.
1. Work on problems immediately
When you see that you are fighting constantly, this should not be ignored. The constant bickering is a sign of a deeper underlying problem: stress from work, passing away of a parent, discomfort due to injury, or other issues.
Arguments are a healthy and natural way to express yourself, but when the people involved start attacking each other instead of the disagreements they are having, you need to look closely to assess why such behavior might be occurring in an otherwise safe space.
2. Hire a professional for help
To seek assistance from a psychologist or marriage counselor is the sign of a strong will to be together and work out the issues you have. Needless to say, the desire to be together and support the partner is much more important in a marriage than a need for comfort.
A professional can help you look at your personal issues in a new light and enable you to understand your behavioral patterns. Furthermore, they can help you find a middle ground for issues that you otherwise cannot find solutions to and end up arguing about all the time.
3. Focus on the future you want to create When things get difficult, it can be tempting to make a run for the hills. The arguments, disagreements, distrust and jealousy, all create an environment that is emotionally and physically draining. In order to sustain your relationship, you must not give in to this soothing temptation and instead remember the future you want to create for your relationship.
This allows you to forgive and forget what is irrelevant to the creation of that future, and allows you to realign your goals with your partner so you can find something to do collectively with a shared goal in mind.
4. Remember why you fell in love in the first place The little things your partner does seem to disappear as you get used to them holding open doors for you and cooking eggs for breakfast every weekend. These habits are easily forgotten as you get used to them and start to take them for granted.
However, to save your relationship you must put in the effort to recount the little things they did for you, and why you developed such passionate feelings for them that you decided to get married.
5. Improve yourself and everything will follow suit It is easy to blame all issues on the other person due to simple coping mechanisms. To be mature requires you to take responsibility for your actions, and address the pain you have caused even when you did not intend to.
Rekindling love is not a matter of chance, but rather an active choice you have to make in order to fix your marriage.