When it comes to marriage, everyone wants to find their perfect match and soulmate. In love marriages, people choose their own partners, while in arranged marriages, families choose their partners for them. Though, we all know that a great marriage isn’t about finding the perfect match, it is about loving each other, despite the differences.
The love marriage vs arranged marriage debate has been going on for decades, especially in Indian families. But which one is a better choice? Let’s find out:
When it comes to finding prospects, arranged marriages are definitely better since your parents and extended family do all the necessary hard work and all you have to do is meet the matches. With your family vetting all the prospects, you are also assured of their background. For people who are reserved or have been incredibly busy with their work to meet anyone, this is a God sent approach, but it also has its own disadvantages. You have no control over what criteria your family might be applying to select the potential matches. In most traditional families, parents often think about more superficial parameters like religion, caste, income, and skin colour. That may be important to some, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you will meet someone who will make you happy
When it comes to love marriages, you have to wait for destiny to find your soulmate. Though it can often be frustrating to date people and realise that they might not be the right person, at least you have the freedom to pick and choose your own partner. At the same time, it can be difficult to find someone suitable enough to date amidst your busy schedules. You also have to filter through people who are looking for the same thing as you. A large part of people who actively date are not necessarily looking to get married any time soon. Overall, arranged marriages are good when you know your family understands your own personality and expectations from your future partner. If they don’t, love marriages are more suitable.
2- Shortlisting the perspectives
Shortlisting the prospective matches to find that special someone in an arranged marriage process can be rather complicated and tedious. The biggest challenge in this process is that you have to shortlist matches after just meeting them once or twice.
Though, since you are essentially meeting strangers, it becomes easier to keep the emotions aside and focus on objective facts during the shortlisting process. But at the same time, just because a person is a good match for you on paper, doesn’t mean you will have good chemistry with them. It takes more than a just a few meetings to really understand a person.
With love marriages, you have several opportunities, often years, to interact with someone before you even think about getting married. With the time you spend together, you are able to understand each other’s interests and behaviors. You are also able to discuss your future plans to make sure you are both on the same page.
Though with love marriages, when your heart has already decided, it can be difficult to be objective. When you are really into someone, you may not be able to see the differences and signs of the relationship going sour in the future. These differences can often become apparent after marriage.
In this case, while the arranged marriage process can allow you to be more objective, you don’t get enough chances to meet and interact with your prospective matches to really understand if they are a good fit for you.
Love marriages, on the other hand, offer plenty of opportunities, which is why they win this round as well.
At the end of the day, whether it’s a love marriage or an arranged one, what matters is that you are happy with your partner.