A happy marriage is being happy with what you’ve got, rather than expecting your marriage to be in a certain way. Being content and grateful for what you have instead of being swayed by some unrealistic standards set by fiction movies and romance novels- is real happiness.

In a happy marriage, two people share things equally. It may not sound romantic, but a couple may be happy because the husband does the dishes and the laundry as often as she does. Both cook together, both run errands together. They do not feel burdened and they don’t feel taken for granted. They talk about everything, and they, rightfully, think that is what a happy marriage is. Are any problems affecting your marriage?

Though many experts approach this topic from a clinical perspective, for me , saving a marriage is personal. you need to save and restore your marriage, by working on it in succession. Success can only happen, if both are working in the same direction and at the same pace or rhythm. Otherwise relationship will consist of screaming matches, unmerited firing and silent treatments.

A happy marriage is about forgiving each other. No one is perfect and if you can just let go of the little things and move on from the bigger things, like arguments, with a forgiving rather than a hating heart, your marriage is in a really good shape.

Marital mess hurts in depth:

Marital mess hurts; and hurts from the cockles of the heart. I don’t mean in dollar terms; I’m talking about the emotional pain, the sleepless nights, and the damaging anxiety in your life. Your marriage, at present, rather than being a source of joy, is destroying your quality of life. You have to do something about that or for yourself and for your entire family with kids in particular.

Stay away from insanity:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If you keep doing the same things, you’ll have the same disturbing re-marriage results. But if you want to change your situation, you need to learn new ways. You need to do things differently. And if you don’t, you may look back one day and think that ,for me- in a marriage- history has the tragedy to repeat itself again and again.

Give relationship a try:

When both make a commitment to work on their marriage then the positive bonding is further strengthened. A persistent, consistent effort as a team with honesty of commitment and constancy to purpose NEVER FAILS. Women are from Venus and men are from mars: A couple should always remember that biologically both are different in thinking, acting and reacting. And both view life differently. They need to give margin to the imperfect behaviour – in patches- of each other instead of accusing and abusing the relationship.

Try to become a team rather than two individuals. Do not throw the baby, named Marriage, out with the quintessential bath water.

Try to Re-connect

Wise couple try to put their energy into trying to re-connect. They use certain relationship techniques that transform and finally seal a happy marriage and blissful life. Not only do they resolve their differences; they fall in love again! They do it by dealing with their problems by establishing new relationship habits that bring positive energy in a marriage.

Get your marriage back on track:

Accentuate positive relationship habits that change the way you and your spouse relate. Those changes in turn “stop the continuous bleeding” in your relationship and restore the connection you and your spouse once had. Maturity helps here to succeed. But maturity does not come with age; it comes with positive attitude. Mind it.

The solution to most marital situations is to “step away” from the problems first and spend time and energy building a relationship through positive actions. If you do this RIGHT, then your problems will dissipate, the threat of divorce will go away, and the other people invading your marriage will become irrelevant. Slowly but surely you will feel close again. Following tips will strengthen a marriage further:

Relate to your spouse, your soulmate

Snap out destructive patterns of behaviour

Bottomline:

One might be thinking to do all this years ago to put an ailing marriage back on the rails of normalcy. Well, it’s never too late. Better late than ever. Not only you will resolve your differences; you will fall in love again! And you will say in chorus:

“Happy Days Are here again!

Prof. Surinder
Kochhar (Shaun)

LPN, FCN, M.Com, CAIIB, DIM
(A freelance writer with
36 Years Exp.)