What makes a healthy relationship? Does it differ from couple to couple? Forming a trusting and positive partnership involvesa lot of effort and time. And it doesn’t just happen overnight. For any relationship to grow well and stay strong, one needs to put in great amount of effort. Below are some habits that will help create and maintain a happy and healthy relationship: COMMUNICATION

Communication is the key. It is one of the most important qualities a healthy relationship must have. However, not everyone knows how to communicate properly. But if you a good listener and learn along the lines of sincerity, then improvement works as a binding agent to cement the perfect relationship. Happy and mature couples develop good communication skills. They learn from each other, each day. They vocalize their love for one another by saying “I love you” often and offering compliments. They discuss the issues instead of sweeping them under the rug. They truly talk about their feelings. No matter how awkward or uncomfortable the experience feels, they admit their mistakes and try not to repeat it and register improvement on the horizon of time. This is a perfect recipe for a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship.

MUTUAL RESPECT Every couple wants to maintain a joyful relationship. Simply this means respecting your partner’s time, space, profession, heart, character and trust. However, there are many things people do in relationships that can lower respect, like name-calling, talking negatively about the other to friends or family, and/or threatening to expunge the relationship. When respect is missing then the time is opportune to see a graceful exit in a relationship. Unfortunately, myriads of people continue to suffer from indecision and life becomes a quagmire.

If a couple talks like close friends, plays like kids, argues like husband and wife, and protect each other like a mother protects her child, that is a perfect relationship.

Surinder Shaun Kochhar

QUALITY TIME MATTERS It doesn’t matter how much time you and your partner spend with each other. The most important part is about the quality of this time. It is always beneficial to spend time together to maintain a deep connection. They should meet enough so that they do not crave opportunities to be in each other’s presence, and miss each other in their absence. They should not expect their partner to mirror their needs. As the relationship becomes the center of individuals’ lives, it becomes increasingly important to seize chances to nourish it with quality time together. While giving each partner the space they need to be the best partner they can nourish in the relationship. SPENDING

TIME APART Spending time together with your partner is indeed quintessential. Conversely, it is important to spend time apart. Being able to do your own things and remain independent is very vital. For example a partner can say, during each weekend 2.00 pm to 5.00 pm is my own time. Nobody will disturb me. I may spend these 3 hrs. of the day, the way I want. When couples spend too much time together, it can create an unhealthy co-dependence. Maintaining healthy boundaries and some autonomy will make for a long-lasting partnership.

LOVE LANGUAGES People have unique ways of feeling loved. There are words of affirmation, receiving gifts, spending quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. It’s important to know which love language work for the couple. Telling each other what makes you feel loved, respected and special helps both of you stay connected. Furthermore, make sure you are attending to your partner’s love language correctly and consistently.

MUTUAL APPRECIATION Appreciate the good deeds of your partner. Often, we forget to let other people in our lives know that we appreciate each other. It is always better to express it. Show your special someone that you love him or her. This could be done with kind words, cards, flowers, acts of kindness, or more. Remember, a flower a day keeps the argument away.

POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE Sometimes, we get caught up on the negative front. We hate our jobs and are annoyed with people around us. It’s vital that we look at our partner’s positive qualities, in contrast to the negative. Nobody is perfect, and that includes our significant other. So instead of focusing on the bad, let’s make a conscious effort to look at the good side.

DIFFERENCE OF OPINION There are arguments to be had in every relationship. It’s crucial to bring issues to the forefront, and work through the hard times together. Choose your encounters wisely, because people in happy and healthy relationships do. In German Armed Forces, a soldier cannot lodge a complaint against his fellow colleagues till 72 hours are over and the volume of complaints due to this hold has nosedived to below 15% approximately. It is always excellent to discuss the difficult issues at least after 72 hrs. as tempers are back in the barracks.

SEXUALITY Let’s also talk about how important it is to develop a flourishing relationship. Sex is simple. Keep your nightlife alive and interesting.

NO COMPARISONS PLEASE The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Keep yourself away from this illusion.Let us not peep into the lifestyle of others. What jobs people have, their homes, and their clothes isnone of our business.Do not be a victim of demonstrative effect in this age of Social media. The happiest of couples don’t look elsewhere,

CONCLUSION: The best way to see if you are devoting enough time to your relationship is to ask your partner. Learn what your partner expects and create a rhythm of increasing inter-dependence that works well for both of you.Find ways to stay connected with your partner. When work and other obligations take over the schedule, finding ways to keep your relationship a priority, can certainly make a positive impact on days to come


By: Prof. Surinder
Shaun Kochhar
LPN, FCN, M.Com,
(A freelance writer with
36 Years Exp.