Mothers are here,there and everywhere. They arenot rare to find. Together, they have mothered more than7.5 Billion people on the universe.The current world population is 7.5 billion as of April 2017 according to the most recent United Nations estimates elaborated by Worldometers.

A mothers’ joy knows no bounds as she hears the first cry of the baby: as the baby announce his/her presence. The attending Obstetrician and his/ her team put the baby on the chest of the mum so that the baby can lock her mothers’ body smelland more importantly mother should not experience, God forbid, postpartum blues as 16% women experience this worldwide.

In a mother one can easily experience the presence of a God, the only proviso is that one must have a qualified eye to visualize it. Had this not been correct, you must not have seen- on electronics media or public colloquium – hordes of artists and myriads of other personage- crying voluptuously/ like kids on the thought of their reverend mother[s] and how much their mothers contributed for their existence when they were frail, vulnerable and experiencing small moments to survive and finally succeed in their chosen field.

Surinder Shaun Kochhar

Precious moments: From this moment, a mothering behavior begins -courtesy biochemical reactions- and a feeling of joy and attachment vis-a-vis anxiety and fierce protectiveness develops sporadically. The new bonding attract a new mother to her baby with maternal feelings of overwhelming love and protectiveness. In birds,animals and humans during the postpartum period, there’s an enormous desire to take care of their own child. It is a natural instinct.

Everything changes: Mothers comprise of a bundle of emotions that sometimes defy logic. So this goes out to all the mothers who have kept awake all night with their sick toddlers in their arms to provide fierce protection and safety. The life style of a mother entirely changes with the arrival of a new member in the family.

Mother, the first guru: What a child learns at home is central to a child’s ability to function throughout his life. Home is where bonding takes place and a child learns to attach to relationships. Then the child start trusting people. Learning to trust is quintessential for having healthy relationships throughout life.We’re not designed to journey through life alone. The most effective place for us to learn, beyond an iota of doubt, is home. Needless to add that a mother teach her children how to behave, potty train and how to tie the shoelaces even before they start going to pre-school or school.

No Time Off: For a first time mother, the situation is very challenging. Many first time mothers are struggling immigrants. They attend school and work on the sidelines . And still take care of the homemaker work and nurse a child. Instead of feeling both trapped and depleted ,she has the courage to smile and look fresh. Fortunate few succeed to take help of other people: a babysitter, your spouse, your parents, a friend or a neighbor. To raise a family is a daunting task for a working woman in particular.

The art of Homemaking: The word “homemaker” is often considered passe. Now a days a homemaker is addressed as • stay-at-home mom • mom at home • mother at home • domestic engineer This is incorrect. She is a homemaker apart from, a mother, a wife and a daughter in law. The word “homemaking” is an appropriate word. It describes “a person who makes a home.” Homemaking is not housekeeping in toto. Though housekeeping is a part of homemaking. Housekeeping consists of doing domestic chores viz. laundry, the dishes, the toilets, and floors that need to be scrubbed et al. Homemaking is the deliberate cultivation in family relationships.

The daily grind a mothera homemaker, a working mom or an everbusy single mom- faces to keep her kids alive and focused to excel in their chosen field is worth saluting.She is living to see, her children excel and her dream fulfilled. And her children prove daily, by dint of hard work, that the dream is alive and the game is on towards its fruition.

Surinder Shaun Kochhar

Homemaking is about helping your family feel loved and comforted. Homemaking is about celebrating each other’s unification, and about caring for each other, as well as for your friends and extended families and even the occasional guest. Anyone can buy and keep a house. Not everyone bothers to make it a home. Homemaking is maturing in family relationships, perform your assigned duty and play your role very well.

Little Sense of Achievement: Most homemaking tasks could be described as trivial, mundane, boring and repetitive. Homemaking is a full time job. It takes many hours, to clean up a house and with kids around, you always have a job in hand. Once a meal is being served and all the dishes are cleaned or tucked in the dishwasher, time is opportunefor a mom to think about the next meal. At night after everyone is in the bed, a tired mother is at ease to experience, she has won the battle of the day.

The sad part is that standards of professionalism don’t apply to the profession of motherhood. Homemaking is taken for granted though new generations of parents- the male spouseis lending a helping hand. The world grants maternity leave as if a fathers’ job is to earn a livelihood. Days are not far off when Paternity leave will be in place. Paternity leave is the time a father takes off work at the birth or adoption of a child. This kind of leave is paid or unpaid one. In many states of USA it has successfully found its moorings.

In case of motherhood, the effort normally goes unmeasured, though it matters a lot for the family and child. Daily, I see parents or a mother taking a sick child to a doctor or a school or market or playground as childrenbecome the ultimate purpose of life.A woman in the profession of mothering serves and cares for her family in collaboration with others. With constancy to purpose and honesty of commitment she keeps on working. The whole family revolves around this motherly fulcrum.

Excuse me at the risk of pampering women folk, as I venture to write thatit is mothers who gave birth to the world population; nurtured thisUniverse to its present bliss and without a mother the world will not be worth looking at.

Surinder Shaun Kochhar

Mom a great Chef: Yeah, mum is the best chef in the family. She is a great learner. Apart from her mother she learns from here, there and everywhere. She does not hesitate to learn by trial and error method after watching the idiot box or reading a magazine. I still remember , when during college days, on my way back home, the killing aroma/whiff of basmati rice, baking biscuits used to greet me on the entrance of the house and I used to say” Happy moments are here again.” The food used to be mothelicious.

I feel, home is a best place, where a mother is an unpaid-for custodian and a place where all are well cared for. A personal attention, physical affection or words of encouragement, go a long way for kids to outsmart in their lifetime. A mother knows that very well.

A clean home, a mothers’ home A mother keeps a home neat, clean and tidy. One of the reasons is to provide an environment a family wants to come home to. As best as she can, a mother creates a welcoming, enticing, scented and soothing atmosphere to speak love to her family. By doing so, she speaks the language of silence.

Power of mother love:

Instant availability, without continuous presence, is probably the best role a mother can play for kids at home. There is a balance between being there for your children and smothering them with your presence. Children need Mom to be available but not hovering over their lives in such a way that it robs them of their independence and their ability to eventually fly from the nest to make their own. Social media start playing a negative role when things go off the limit.

Mother love, shapes family values and culture:

A Mother understands the long-lasting impact of family values and culture that influence our young children’s brains. Teaching them first lessons of love, shaping their conscience is of paramount importance. A child should never feel as if they need to earn a mother’s love. A mother’s love needs to be given unconditionally to establish trust and a firm foundation of emotional intimacy in a child’s life. If love is withheld, a child will look for it in a myriad other ways, sometimes throughout their lifetime unless they come to some sort of peace with their chequered past. The emotional foundations we give our children at home serve as a foundation to their life. We cannot underestimate the value of home and the bewitching power of a mothers’ love.

What goes on to make a good mother? Because she is selfless and have a high degree of patience. She is fiercely protective for her kids. She can be a tiger mom also. The phrase “tiger mom” is defined as a strict disciplinarian mother who demands high achievement from her children and maintains control of their activities.A single mom, being more concerned with the future of kids, may fall in this category.

What lies in the heart of an ideal mother? An ideal mother knows how a relationships work at its best. She knows that her relationship will always work if she keeps trust ahead of doubt, love ahead of ego and mutual respect ahead of expectations. These inherent qualities in a mother make her most adorable factor in the family as she lead by example.

Parental love is priceless.It is truly selfless, unconditional and always of forgiving nature.Those who have a mother are blessed ones and those – who, like me are unfortunate – can helplessly take solace by rummaging those golden and perennial moments with a sense of deja vu.

Surinder Shaun Kochhar

Golden heart of a mother Mother love is very hard to explain. There is a story in Indian culture, as a metaphor, to explain a mothers’love. A young boy was madly in love with a girl who was not interested in him. She wanted to get rid of him. She asked the boy, in case he loves her more than anybody, he has to prove it. The boy said I am ready to do anything you want to me to prove my love for you. The girl stated” Go and bring your mothers’ heart and then I will marry you.”

The boy went, as the metaphoric story goes, and killed her mother. He took the heart out and started running towards the girl to prove her love for her. While he was running, he fell, and heart also fell out of his hands. While he was on the floor, pat came a concern from the mothers’heart,” Are you OK, my son. I hope you are not hurt.” This is mother, who can forgive any action of yours and care/bless you even when bleeding dead.

Who takes care of Mom? In this vying age of competition and high tech world, grown up children are fighting their daily battle for a respectful living and may not devote as much time as a mother expects in the light of the fact that they have their own family to look at.

Accordingly, a mom has to learn the art of self-care i. e taking care of you. No one else can do a better job at self-care than you, yourself. You have to successfully face the challenges of your day to day life including job, if you are working.

As a mother, she also have to identify what best refuels her emotionally and physically to equip herself to be a successful mom. For this an able, wise partner has a big role to play.

One of the family wheel named mother, need another matching wheel-a partner- of the same diameter of understanding and ideal air pressure of love, so that kids/ family can experience a safe and smooth ride called LIFE

Mother an unpaid lawyer: During my school days, my reverend mother used to behave likes a fierce protector for me while dealing with my dad-even when, sometimes- I was partly in the wrong. But in camera, she used to guide and advise me in a little harsh tone with teary eyes. Her words used to leave an indelible mark on my mind than my dads’ displeasure. After my moms’ occasional anger nay displeasure, the hug she used to give me to make me cool, calm, composed and collected; I still feel the cozy warmth of the same, followed by a treat.

A house is made of brick, metal and mortar. But a house becomes a Home when a woman named a mother, a daughter or a wife enters in it for living/homemaking. A mother has no parallel in the history and no one is competing with her role, though urgently, she needs to dovetail with her spouse, mother and others in the family to accomplish the unbeatable”. Long live dear mother.

Surinder Shaun Kochhar

Mother a mourner: My heart comes in my mouth, when I think of the plight of those mothers who lost their children in school /violence shootings and berserk killings under the garb of religion. Some have become motherless and some have disabled children in front of them all the time. Words fail me to explain their predicament and how heavy they feel on this auspicious day which hurt them more than to provide a relief. Only time and God may heal such a bereaved mother.

Conclusion:

we cannot underestimate the power of mother love, the value of home and the significance of her availability/ presence in the home. Finally, through this article, I wish all the young and aged mothers, working mothers and homemakers, married mothers and the single mothers: A Very Happy and Prosperous Mother’s Day!! Long Live Reverend Mother.

 

 

Prof. Surinder
Shaun Kochhar
LPN, FCN, M.Com, CAIIB, DIM
(A freelance writer with
36 Years Exp.